Submission is not being a doormat. Everyone has an authority. God has laid out the structure to make the man be over the woman. It doesn’t mean that women are anything less than men, but things work in harmony when there is a head. Then we each have a role.

Genesis 2:18-23
Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone ; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”  19  Out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever  the man called a living creature, that was its name.  20  The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.  21  So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept ; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place.  22  The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.  23  The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh ; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.”

Submission is putting yourself under your husband so he can be the leader/head that God intended him to be.

It is not an option, but a directive given to us in Ephesians 5:21-24

And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

1 Timothy 2:11-15 says, A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.

Titus 2:5, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

Perhaps your husband has a wrong idea of what submission means. Do you not expect your children to submit to your authority? But at the same time, they are not your slaves to treat poorly. We raise them for the Lord’s glory. Your husband is told to treat you with dignity.

Ephesians 5:25-30 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 says, The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Does this help in getting a different picture of what submission and authority are?

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Beautiful Submission!

I am so excited to share our big news! Our second son, third child, is now engaged to the sweetest young lady! And look, I have a few photos for ya!

First, the couple!

So now you can see what a sweet gal she is

and what a clown I have for a son. ~grin~

Ahhh! This one’s a bit cuter. Don’t you think?

The ring!

Okay, so she took it of for just a *minute*. It was for the picture. It was for you.

She put it back on. Don’t worry.  Breath a sight of relief now.

Now, with my new daughter-in-law’s permission, I get to share with you  something she wrote up to share about how they got together.

Did I mention their names? Forgive me! My son is Joseph and the young lady is Kathryn, otherwise known as Joe and Katie.

Without further delay:

Joe and Katie’s Story by Katie

Some of you have been asking about how Joe and I met. Joe and I met two years ago at our mutual friends’ house and later God provided ways for our families to get together and I got to know his sisters. After that, Dad and Joe got together for lunch on a weekly basis for several months. It was a good time for Dad to get to know Joe and for Joe to get to know Dad because they were able to talk freely about their beliefs. These are some points that I’ve kept in mind and that I believe are very important in relationships.

I believe that dating is dangerous because it encourages a false sense of feelings. In dating, there is a greater chance of getting physical before the proper time. Also, when people date, there is no real commitment to each other. People sometimes will date several different people before they marry anyone and by then, they’ve given a little bit of their heart away each time.

I believe that God’s timing is always perfect. When we give ourselves and our relationships to God, He will bring things to pass when it’s best. It is important to always give everything to God, not just in relationships, but in all of life. When we give something to Him that maybe we really want, He will bless that. He will either give it back to you, or He will give you something far better! God knows what is best.

God’s hand has been so evident in my relationship with Joe! He knew just when for us to take each little step. After each step, I would pray that if this wasn’t God’s will, that He would end it right there, and He never did! He continued to open doors and we continued to go through them.

It is very important before even considering someone, to make sure that they are a believer. If they aren’t it causes so much pain and trouble in the long run. 2 Corinthians 6:14

I also believe that parents need to be involved. Joe first went to his Dad before he went to my Dad. Everything we have done has been with our parents’ permission and approval. Parents have so much wisdom and God has placed them over us to train us and guide us. They see things that we don’t, so if they say, no this isn’t a good thing, we need to listen to them and trust them. Proverbs 23:22, 24

One thing that our culture doesn’t seem to understand, is that love is not a feeling. It’s a decision. There are times when we don’t feel love for people, but we must love them anyway. I believe that we must be able to think rationally before we allow feelings to come out. In dating, I think feelings become involved so soon that people are unable to see what the other person is really like. Dad and Joe were able to talk about things and think rationally before feelings came into the picture.

I also think that getting physical too soon is very dangerous. Even something as “innocent” as holding hands, if done too soon can cause problems. It can cause feelings (there they are again!) to show themselves.

Most importantly, I think that in everything we do, our ultimate goal should be to glorify God. If we seek to do things for our own glory or if we do what we want, when we want instead of in God’s timing, he can’t bless that. I have prayed through this whole process that God would be glorified in all that we say and do.

“Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12

Rejoice with us!

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Engagement!

Once upon a time, there was a mighty King who had dominion over a vast estate. This King was most terrible and handsome and had little need for armor in battle, because of his great strength and strength of his purpose.

As time went by, he became lonely. He realized he needed a companion. The Great King reviewed all the creatures of his estate and while he tried out different creatures for a companion, none were found to be adequate. While he was in this miserable condition, the Emperor beyond the sea, beyond the mountains, beyond space and time, who made the Great King, saw the sadness of the great king and decided to make a companion of the truest metal that could be found. Not hammered from dirt and steel as he did with the King, but fashioned and shaped from precise ingredients. The Emperor caused the Great King to fall into a deep sleep. Once the king was asleep, the Emperor reached across space and time, mountain and seas, and pierced the great king’s solid breast and brought from it a single rib and attached to this singe rib, was soft tissue from the inside of the Great King’s steel breast. From this soft tissue, the Emperor fashioned a queen, a high queen. Beautiful in form, ingenious in functionality, endowed with intelligence equal to the Great King, but soft to the touch, to compliment the Great King’s strength and mass.

Time passed and the Great King awoke from his deep sleep. Lying on his back, he stared into the sky and felt his great loneliness; he also felt an ache in his side. He now knew the ache of loneliness. The Great King arose from his repose and went to his house. As he approached, all the creatures were lined before him, watching with knowing looks, and hidden smiles upon their faces. But because of the ache of loneliness of a true companion, the great king did not notice. As the great king entered his hall, the creatures crowded after him so that all could see as he entered his throne room. And there, to the right of his throne, stood a creature so fair, so beautiful of form, with a look of high intelligence in her eyes. She looked to be chiseled from stone, but no, this was no stone, this was much softer, and from the area in his great breast, where there was once the ache of loneliness, his heart gave a great leap. And from beyond time and space, from beyond the mountains and seas, came the voice of the Emperor to the Great King.

“I knew your loneliness, because I understand it. And from your breast I took a rib and fashioned for you a Queen. But as I tore the rib loose, with it came a piece of your heart. And because the Queen I made for you were made of softer stuff, that piece of heart grew. And because your Queen’s breast does not have the strength out of sinews, as yours does, her heart has grown large, and with it, she feels deeply and understands. She understands love, compassion, and care. She sees beyond the exterior and instinctly looks to your heart. My son, love her, understand her, protect her. Cherish her, hold her in high esteem, and seek her best. Although you are her king, she is not your servant. And although you are her king, she is your equal. I have already charged her to love you and obey you; to be dignified, quiet, and respectful. She has a full share in my kingdom beyond the sea, beyond the mountains, beyond time and space, for all eternity. And to this I will hold you account.”

And when the Emperor, the great king’s father, had left, the queen came before him and knelt with her face looking to his feet. The great king reached down with his battle-scarred hand, hands that had done great things, and within it, the power to do great things, he gently, lightly, touched the new Queen’s chin and gently lifted it until he could see into her eyes. He saw the love and adoration shining in her eyes and then she spoke aloud in a quiet, beautiful voice.

“My lord, my king, command me.” And with wonder and pride on his face, the Great King, before all the creatures, rose her up and said, “You are my Queen. Stand beside me.” And as they turned to face the creatures, he put his arm around her, and he realized the ache and the loneliness was gone. And because she stood beside him, he was now made whole and complete: And better than that, what was missing from him had grown more in his Queen than it could contain in his breast of steel. The creatures, for their part, were struck with awe. For their King, who before this was quite noble, now looked satisfied and complete; and if it were possible, even more noble.

And the Great King and his Queen went out, and ruled with steel and velvet and the Great King never tired of learning the complex nature and character of his Queen. For this he knew, his Queen was not a conquest to be won easily, but a companion to be won again and again.

By Dennis McLean, 2002

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Once Upon A Time

Dearest Children:

Don’t ever lose creativity. This is imagination at work. I used to see private jokes, or interesting stories, or fascinating pictures in everything. Life was always interesting and I felt youthful. Then I lost this. I forgot to wish to hop down stairs, I looked at a tree and it was just a tree. Now I’m working to cultivate it anew. it is difficult, but necessary, or one is dead inside — life becomes dead. Even if your creativity never achieves recognition, cultivate it for your own livelihood and satisfaction. Keep on the growing edge of life. Your father is very creative in a different way. He likes to rearrange furniture, plan a house, or arrange a bed of flowers. That is good and keeps him having that spark he has.

Dear God,

The well is dry. My prayers are rote and routine. Bring back sincerity and enthusiasm to them. begin with thankfulness — not just me and mine thankfulness. Let me close my eyes and go through my day, every act, every emotion, every taste, every smell, every touch, every sight, every sound, every sensation imagining realistically and then thanking. Then let me open my arms wider, picturing the faces, the voices, the actions or day of someone I know and touching him with blessing.

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My Mom’s Memoirs Part 3

Dear Children:

Mature love is so comfortable; not as exciting as young love, but far more steady and assured. Love is knowing your mate will come home to you and likes his family and chooses to be with them instead of somewhere else in spare moments. It is knowing he sacrifices bowling and a better job because he wants to be with his family.

Love is conversing together. Love is the warm feeling one gets when one’s mate is praised or when one’s mate does or says something you admire. Love is the constant wonder, “How come such a fine person chose me with my inadequacies and still chooses me?” Young love is erratic very high and very low. Mature love never gets as high but neither does it go so low. It goes deep. It is not a moment in time. It is time and, God willing, beyond time.

Young love is ecstatic at one time and at another, is deeply disappointed in one’s mate. It is a time of discovering the bad and the good. Mature love is comfortable. It has adjusted to the bad and the good. I wrote a poem about this before I ever knew it. I wrote two poems, to be exact. Both express this as my mind reasoned it must be from what I’ve seen of my family and others. It’s funny now to discover the trueness, which before I only guessed. How well I hit upon it! And the reason, as I said before, is my good home with its example and discussion of homes we saw.

LOVING IS A CURIOUS JOY

Loving is a curious joy
It changes as it grows.
Our courting was in poetry,
Our marriage is in prose.
I loved the dashing words we used,
But now I love more.
The love we show in acts and words
Is deeper than before.

DEFINITION OF LOVE

An old familiar ease and coziness
Inviting two to make themselves at home
Within the depth of life experience
And there reveal their thoughts and dreams and hopes
– Is love – and not the pounding pulse alone.

A challenge, hand upon a hand agreed
To tough the top of every blocking hill
Within the span of their horizon view
And there to laugh in joyous unison
– Is love – and not the pounding pulse alone.

The outstretched hands of two uniting souls
Who wish to share the warmth and joy that rests
Within their heart’s expanding width and breadth
And thus be worthier of all this joy
– Is love – and not the pounding pulse alone.

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My Mom’s Memoirs Part 2

It might be worth noting: My mom was an awesome example of a godly wife. She suffered from depression due to medications she was taking. My sister is 10 years older than I and my brother was 7 years older. She began writing these before I and my brother were born and completed them when I was a toddler.

Dearest Children:

As one grows older, one knows a deep warm security of love. A kiss is not needed. The simple routines shout love. The presence across the table, the compliment on dinner, a fleeting touch of the hand, conversation about the children, a gentle teasing all are ordinary things devoid of electric and passionate excitement but richly full of the certainty of love. When Glenn is gone, I plan dinner. I know what he likes. That becomes my silent gift to him. Some days I feel taller and poised and almost queen-like in the joy of you and your father. Most days are busy ordinary days. But some days, joy wells up and I feel your father’s presence ing after him when he leaves. His love is strong and undergirding to my day. Actually, this undergirding is also present, though less spectacularly, on ordinary days, too. I know how love can transcend.

Since being at the hospital, I know even more certainly what I want most for you. I want you to love God and have God as your personal friend most of all. Then, of course, I want you to be thoughtful and understanding next. I want for you to have an appreciation for fine music, art, knowledge, literature. I want these for you with all the wanting in me. All my thoughts are toward this end.

I told you the other night, and will tell it again and again, my criteria for a husband.

1. He must love God above all else.
2. He must love people and be understanding.
3. He must love children.
4. He must respect good art, music, literature, etc.

I hope this criteria will be yours in choosing a mate. It served me well and I am satisfied.

Lord bless your fruitful day as you serve your family!

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My Mom’s Memoirs Part 1

1. Take a walk
2. Ride bikes
3. Visit some historical places
4. Have coffee in a coffee shop and talk
5. Go to a museum. There are some great free ones around
6. Take a small boat onto a peaceful lake
7. Make a picnic basket and go to a park or somewhere with a view and sit in your vehicle
8. Go to a free home improvement show and dream
9. Put the kids to bed, make popcorn and play board games
10. Meet your spouse for lunch and take a walk together while eating a sack lunch
11. Go sledding
12. Go for a drive. Fall is a particularly beautiful time of year for this.
13. Put the kids to bed and have a picnic in the living room, complete with blanket
14. Go bowling
15. People watch somewhere busy. Doesn’t have to be the mall. It could be at the hospital!
16. Do your grocery shopping together
17. Play miniature golf
18. Go shopping at the dollar store
19. Go to a local event that is free, such as music in the park during the summer
20. Park somewhere with a view or at the airport (to watch the planes come in and go out) and talk
21. Go to a friend’s or relative’s concert or performance. Rate them using the star system.
22. Give your own concert for friends or family.
23. Check out your favorite childhood books from the library and read them to each other.
24. Go hiking
25. Sit on the beach
26. Pick up a $5 pizza and go park somewhere to talk
27. Have a bonfire. Make sure the local laws allow.
28. Pick up a box of specialty ice cream and two spoons
29. Visit a book store (some have coffee shops and dessert items)
30. Go to the Saturday market or a flea market
31. Bake something together then eat it
32. Go to a local high school game
33. Play in the snow
34. Check out the rehearsal of a local play, as they are free to the public
35. Visit a friend in the hospital. Bring them something special
36. Write out your Christmas card list
37. Plan your child(ren)’s next Birthday party
38. Sit outside and view the stars with, or without, a telescope
39. Give each other a back rub
40. Go caroling (more fun with a group)
41. Play mini golf
42. Visit thrift stores
43. Visit the library
44. Go roller skating
45. Dress up to the nines and go for dinner at McDonald’s
46. Visit a home improvement store and dream

Have some more to add? Leave me a message.

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46 Ideas For a Cheap Date With Your Spouse