Posts Tagged "marriage"

In lieu of our 24th wedding Anniversary, I thought I’d share something my husband wrote a few years ago.


Once upon a time, there was a mighty King who had dominion over a vast estate. This King was most terrible and handsome and had little need for armor in battle, because of his great strength and strength of his purpose.

As time went by, he became lonely. He realized he needed a companion. The Great King reviewed all the creatures of his estate and while he tried out different creatures for a companion, none were found to be adequate. While he was in this miserable condition, the Emperor beyond the sea, beyond the mountains, beyond space and time, who made the Great King, saw the sadness of the great king and decided to make a companion of the truest metal that could be found. Not hammered from dirt and steel as he did with the King, but fashioned and shaped from precise ingredients. The Emperor caused the Great King to fall into a deep sleep. Once the king was asleep, the Emperor reached across space and time, mountain and seas, and pierced the great king’s solid breast and brought from it a single rib and attached to this singe rib, was soft tissue from the inside of the Great King’s steel breast. From this soft tissue, the Emperor fashioned a queen, a high queen. Beautiful in form, ingenious in functionality, endowed with intelligence equal to the Great King, but soft to the touch, to compliment the Great King’s strength and mass.

Time passed and the Great King awoke from his deep sleep. Lying on his back, he stared into the sky and felt his great loneliness; he also felt an ache in his side. He now knew the ache of loneliness. The Great King arose from his repose and went to his house. As he approached, all the creatures were lined before him, watching with knowing looks, and hidden smiles upon their faces. But because of the ache of loneliness of a true companion, the great king did not notice. As the great king entered his hall, the creatures crowded after him so that all could see as he entered his throne room. And there, to the right of his throne, stood a creature so fair, so beautiful of form, with a look of high intelligence in her eyes. She looked to be chiseled from stone, but no, this was no stone, this was much softer, and from the area in his great breast, where there was once the ache of loneliness, his heart gave a great leap. And from beyond time and space, from beyond the mountains and seas, came the voice of the Emperor to the Great King.

“I knew your loneliness, because I understand it. And from your breast I took a rib and fashioned for you a Queen. But as I tore the rib loose, with it came a piece of your heart. And because the Queen I made for you were made of softer stuff, that piece of heart grew. And because your Queen’s breast does not have the strength out of sinews, as yours does, her heart has grown large, and with it, she feels deeply and understands. She understands love, compassion, and care. She sees beyond the exterior and instinctly looks to your heart. My son, love her, understand her, protect her. Cherish her, hold her in high esteem, and seek her best. Although you are her king, she is not your servant. And although you are her king, she is your equal. I have already charged her to love you and obey you; to be dignified, quiet, and respectful. She has a full share in my kingdom beyond the sea, beyond the mountains, beyond time and space, for all eternity. And to this I will hold you account.”

And when the Emperor, the great king’s father, had left, the queen came before him and knelt with her face looking to his feet. The great king reached down with his battle-scarred hand, hands that had done great things, and within it, the power to do great things, he gently, lightly, touched the new Queen’s chin and gently lifted it until he could see into her eyes. He saw the love and adoration shining in her eyes and then she spoke aloud in a quiet, beautiful voice.

“My lord, my king, command me.” And with wonder and pride on his face, the Great King, before all the creatures, rose her up and said, “You are my Queen. Stand beside me.” And as they turned to face the creatures, he put his arm around her, and he realized the ache and the loneliness was gone. And because she stood beside him, he was now made whole and complete: And better than that, what was missing from him had grown more in his Queen than it could contain in his breast of steel. The creatures, for their part, were struck with awe. For their King, who before this was quite noble, now looked satisfied and complete; and if it were possible, even more noble.

And the Great King and his Queen went out, and ruled with steel and velvet and the Great King never tired of learning the complex nature and character of his Queen. For this he knew, his Queen was not a conquest to be won easily, but a companion to be won again and again.

By Dennis McLean, 2002


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For the explanation of these posts, and all other entries from my mom, please go here.

Dearest Children:

Don’t ever lose creativity. This is imagination at work. I used to see private jokes, or interesting stories, or fascinating pictures in everything. Life was always interesting and I felt youthful. Then I lost this. I forgot to wish to hop down stairs, I looked at a tree and it was just a tree. Now I’m working to cultivate it anew. it is difficult, but necessary, or one is dead inside — life becomes dead. Even if your creativity never achieves recognition, cultivate it for your own livelihood and satisfaction. Keep on the growing edge of life. Your father is very creative in a different way. He likes to rearrange furniture, plan a house, or arrange a bed of flowers. That is good and keeps him having that spark he has.

Dear God,

The well is dry. My prayers are rote and routine. Bring back sincerity and enthusiasm to them. begin with thankfulness — not just me and mine thankfulness. Let me close my eyes and go through my day, every act, every emotion, every taste, every smell, every touch, every sight, every sound, every sensation imagining realistically and then thanking. Then let me open my arms wider, picturing the faces, the voices, the actions or day of someone I know and touching him with blessing.

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For the explanation of these posts, and all other entries from my mom, please go here.

Dear Children:

Mature love is so comfortable; not as exciting as young love, but far more steady and assured. Love is knowing your mate will come home to you and likes his family and chooses to be with them instead of somewhere else in spare moments. It is knowing he sacrifices bowling and a better job because he wants to be with his family.

Love is conversing together. Love is the warm feeling one gets when one’s mate is praised or when one’s mate does or says something you admire. Love is the constant wonder, “How come such a fine person chose me with my inadequacies and still chooses me?” Young love is erratic very high and very low. Mature love never gets as high but neither does it go so low. It goes deep. It is not a moment in time. It is time and, God willing, beyond time.

Young love is ecstatic at one time and at another, is deeply disappointed in one’s mate. It is a time of discovering the bad and the good. Mature love is comfortable. It has adjusted to the bad and the good. I wrote a poem about this before I ever knew it. I wrote two poems, to be exact. Both express this as my mind reasoned it must be from what I’ve seen of my family and others. It’s funny now to discover the trueness, which before I only guessed. How well I hit upon it! And the reason, as I said before, is my good home with its example and discussion of homes we saw.


LOVING IS A CURIOUS JOY

Loving is a curious joy
It changes as it grows.
Our courting was in poetry,
Our marriage is in prose.
I loved the dashing words we used,
But now I love more.
The love we show in acts and words
Is deeper than before.

DEFINITION OF LOVE

An old familiar ease and coziness
Inviting two to make themselves at home
Within the depth of life experience
And there reveal their thoughts and dreams and hopes
- Is love - and not the pounding pulse alone.

A challenge, hand upon a hand agreed
To tough the top of every blocking hill
Within the span of their horizon view
And there to laugh in joyous unison
- Is love - and not the pounding pulse alone.

The outstretched hands of two uniting souls
Who wish to share the warmth and joy that rests
Within their heart’s expanding width and breadth
And thus be worthier of all this joy
- Is love - and not the pounding pulse alone.


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Several years ago, I shared these. I discovered them in one of several notebooks my mother, now deceased, had typed up for me, my sister, and my brother when we were little so that after she was gone (she was very ill), we would have something from her heart. Little did she know that my brother would be the first to go. My mom did leave us, but she also left this treasure for us. I hope you can find some pleasure from these, as well.

It might be worth noting: My mom was an awesome example of a godly wife. She suffered from depression due to medications she was taking. My sister is 10 years older than I and my brother was 7 years older. She began writing these before I and my brother were born and completed them when I was a toddler.

Dearest Children:

As one grows older, one knows a deep warm security of love. A kiss is not needed. The simple routines shout love. The presence across the table, the compliment on dinner, a fleeting touch of the hand, conversation about the children, a gentle teasing all are ordinary things devoid of electric and passionate excitement but richly full of the certainty of love. When Glenn is gone, I plan dinner. I know what he likes. That becomes my silent gift to him. Some days I feel taller and poised and almost queen-like in the joy of you and your father. Most days are busy ordinary days. But some days, joy wells up and I feel your father’s presence ing after him when he leaves. His love is strong and undergirding to my day. Actually, this undergirding is also present, though less spectacularly, on ordinary days, too. I know how love can transcend.

Since being at the hospital, I know even more certainly what I want most for you. I want you to love God and have God as your personal friend most of all. Then, of course, I want you to be thoughtful and understanding next. I want for you to have an appreciation for fine music, art, knowledge, literature. I want these for you with all the wanting in me. All my thoughts are toward this end.

I told you the other night, and will tell it again and again, my criteria for a husband.

1. He must love God above all else.
2. He must love people and be understanding.
3. He must love children.
4. He must respect good art, music, literature, etc.

I hope this criteria will be yours in choosing a mate. It served me well and I am satisfied.

Lord bless your fruitful day as you serve your family!

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This is not a long list, at all. My guess is that you have something fun to do together that you could add to this list.

  1. Take a walk
  2. Ride bikes
  3. Visit some historical places
  4. Have coffee in a coffee shop and talk
  5. Go to a museum. There are some great free ones around
  6. Take a small boat onto a peaceful lake
  7. Make a picnic basket and go to a park or somewhere with a view and sit in your vehicle
  8. Go to a free home improvement show and dream
  9. Put the kids to bed, make popcorn and play board games
  10. Meet your spouse for lunch and take a walk together while eating a sack lunch
  11. Go sledding
  12. Go for a drive. Fall is a particularly beautiful time of year for this.
  13. Put the kids to bed and have a picnic in the living room, complete with blanket
  14. Go bowling
  15. People watch somewhere busy. Doesn’t have to be the mall. It could be at the hospital!
  16. Do your grocery shopping together
  17. Play miniature golf
  18. Go shopping at the dollar store
  19. Go to a local event that is free, such as music in the park during the summer
  20. Park somewhere with a view or at the airport (to watch the planes come in and go out) and talk
  21. Go to a friend’s or relative’s concert or performance. Rate them using the star system.
  22. Give your own concert for friends or family.
  23. Check out your favorite childhood books from the library and read them to each other.
  24. Go hiking
  25. Sit on the beach
  26. Pick up a $5 pizza and go park somewhere to talk
  27. Have a bonfire. Make sure the local laws allow.
  28. Pick up a box of specialty ice cream and two spoons
  29. Visit a book store (some have coffee shops and dessert items)
  30. Go to the Saturday market or a flea market
  31. Bake something together then eat it
  32. Go to a local high school game
  33. Play in the snow
  34. Check out the rehearsal of a local play, as they are free to the public
  35. Visit a friend in the hospital. Bring them something special
  36. Write out your Christmas card list
  37. Plan your child(ren)’s next Birthday party
  38. Sit outside and view the stars with, or without, a telescope
  39. Give each other a back rub
  40. Go caroling (more fun with a group)
  41. Play mini golf
  42. Visit thrift stores
  43. Visit the library
  44. Go roller skating
  45. Dress up to the nines and go for dinner at McDonald’s
  46. Visit a home improvement store and dream

Have some more to add? Leave me a message.

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