So I go into a large, well-known store and was passing through the children’s department on my way through when I heard a small child screaming to her mother and throwing one HUGE tantrum. I walked right by them and the mother said, “You are not getting this if you are going to act this way,” to which the toddler screamed, “Yes I am!!”

I passed by them and continued to get the item I needed, turned around and headed back, following them to the checkout where, in fact, the little girl had the item.

Another example: A family member had her daughter in the shopping cart seat. She decided to stand up and do a little tap dance. She fell out of the cart, sustaining a concussion.

We are out in town, maybe the grocery store. A child talks back, throws a fit, wanders away, won’t listen and/or just makes a big scene. What is a mama to do?

When my children were small and in the major training stage, I would VERY CALMLY tell them to stop whatever they were doing. If they continued as I shopped, I peacefully and calmly took the children home…leaving my cart behind and dealt with them as needed.

We don’t want the child to consider that their actions are okay when we are not at home.

When my first 3 were small, it seemed like I disciplined all day long. I hated it, especially since my hsuband was on the road a lot. I am so thankful for cell phones! My husband would encourage me to remember the goals we had to raise up a heritage. He’d remind me that we were not, and still are not, doing a “one day at a time” thing, but rather, we do everything with a purpose with clear boundaries, nothing is arbitrary. And that training isn’t only the rod, but it is teaching the children about the Lord Jesus Christ as we rise up and when we sit down… and that we are a reflection of just a little of what He might look like, too! (frontals on your forehead). He reminded me that we were treading into new territory since our parents didn’t follow God’s Word.

Proverbs 13:24
He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

Do you see it? Diligently… to be up early with earnestness is the literal translation of diligently. Wow! God’s Word encourages us when the times get tough!

What an inspiration to have others in the body of Christ, to go to and encourage you to keep on keep’n on. I know it was a great help to me and many continue to be an encouragement to me.

Now that those particular kiddos are 22, 20, 19, respectively, and we’ve gone on to have many more, the fruit of those long, long days, has shown that it was oh so worth the time, the diligence, the patience, the love, the prayer, the teaching… everything. The younger ones watch the older kids’ example. There is so much peace in our household!

Last story: I was in another major grocery store chain last week. I noted that on several aisles, there were abandoned carts.

Tags: Biblical truths, discipline, Family

When considering discipline for your young family, I would encourage you to not go with what your opinion or feelings are on the topic, but instead, read God’s Word on it, plainly. No tricks, just read it in context when it comes to anything having to do with discipline. You might also begin with the free Word document on discipline on the right bar in the free section, which has the definitions of words about discipline.

If you are obedient to God’s Word, I can attest that in 20 years, your children will rise up and call you blessed. I cannot tell you how awesome it is to have 5 teenagers in the home who are not what the world thinks teenagers should be. We have several adult children, who know full well that they may leave any time if they chose not to be under their father’s head. However, they have joyfully chosen to remain here. My sons are fine young men. None of my kids go off and hide in their rooms to avoid us. They love to be with us. They think their dad is the coolest guy on earth! This is not because of us. This is not because we were lucky. It is not because our parents were fine, godly examples. You see, my husband’s parents were exasperating to one extreme (beating him on a whim, as the emotions swayed) while my parents were exasperating me to the other extent (was not spanked and received my way because it was easier that way. I ruled the home). We knew there had to be a better way.

We found *one* family in our local fellowship who had notable teenagers who loved and were serving the Lord. We invited them over and quizzed them. They led us back to a Richard Fugate book and God’s Word. Ahhhh What a blessing to have the foundation of God’s Word in our lives.

Now, both our parents thought we were raising our children wrong. They don’t say that anymore! They see the fruit. They love to be with our kids and our kids enjoy being with them. Our kids don’t hide away, trying to avoid their grandparents as many teenagers do.

I can assure you that when we accept the wisdom that God laid down in His Word, it might be difficult at first (as it was for me), but the end result is a blessing. Remember, too, discipline is not just the use of the rod. Discipline is oh so much more! That is why someone recommended Shepherding a Child’s Heart. It addresses this very issue.

Tags: Bible Truths, discipline

I have been reading Withhold Not Correction. The last time I read it was about 18 years ago.

The author lays out specifics on the actual way to discipline, very similar to the Lindvall article/audio we have in the articles area at cmomb’s forum, but then he gave a brief outline, which I thought helpful and easy to remember:

These are the basic questions to be asked of the child to use this as a training moment.

What did you do? (specifically)

What does God say about this?

Was what you did right or wrong according to the Scriptures?

What happens when you disobey?

What must I do as a parent under God’s authority?

What ought you to do in the future?

We will, of course, have to adjust the details of such a discussion to suit the different ages and circumstances of our children, but the thrust of what we must say must be the same whether we are dealing with a child of fourteen months or fourteen years. Little children and big children, even grown children, must hear words that tell them why they are being disciplined by their parents, or by the Lord.

Tags: discipline